This will be a quickie, so ignore typos and grammatical errors, if any!
It’s quite evident and we all see this around happening on a daily basis now — 22 years old, thinking and analysing what they have achieved in their lives, so much so that some of them have exhausted themselves. So by the time they are 25, they have a quarter-life crises. Is that even a thing?
I was having a conversation with a friend, discussing her next career move. The conversation went something like this:
A: Why do you think you need to make this move in your career this early? It’s just been a year since you started your first job. Don’t you think you should consider giving more time to yourself or to your company?
X: I’m not sure. I’m not getting that kick! I cannot motivate myself to go to work every day.
A: Why do you think a change in job is the solution to this issue?
X: I don’t know.. new environment, new surroundings, meeting new people or taking up a new project might help. And this time, I want to work somewhere which excites me enough.
A: (…hesitatingly I decided to ask) Have you ever had an orgasm?
A: (I encouraged her to answer my question) Go ahead tell me, no judgement at all
A: How did it feel?
X: Is that even a question I need to answer?
A: Please answer.
X: It’s satisfying , contenting and sort of happy feeling
A: How long did it last?
X: A little while, maybe few minutes.
A: Have you ever experienced something similar at work? Something which made you really that happy?
X: Umm…no, not really. But once I suggested an idea, which got successfully implemented and resulted in saving $ X000 for the company. It made me really happy.
A: Alright. Do you have an answer on how to repeat that thing on a daily basis?
X: I don’t think so.
A: See, in life there will be times when you feel directionless or lost. You will be dissatisfied and you will never know the reason but you will try to justify yourself on a particular problem while most of the times, that will never be the problem. Okay, you know what MOKSHA is?
X: Yes, a place where good people go post death.
A: Osho says, “Moksha is all about multiple orgasms”. Not that I am a fan of Osho but many times in life, when you associate yourself with day to day tasks, you find yourself in situations where you feel you don’t really belong. It’s an unsatisfactory feeling and that is the trigger for you to start thinking about changes — I wish to change my job. We overcomplicate things unnecessarily when the life is designed to live in the simplistic manner. There’s always a simple, clean answer to the problem we are going through but because we are trained and designed in a way where we try to complicate things and surprisingly, we feel contended when that happens. And now we are pondering answers to “How do I get out of this complicated situation”
A quick example from my life — While I was running my start-up, there were hell lot of things that I was doing which I could have never imagined. Growing, scaling, managing teams, running finances — All at one go. That was the first time I could relate the feeling to that of somewhat orgasmic. Though the feeling was short lived(we got acquired by ixigo) but the desire of having that again was still there. When our company got acquired by ixigo, I got an opportunity to lead their Special Projects Team. Technically, I was a part of the management team, directly working under @Rajnish Kumar (CTO, ixigo) who is not just a great leader but an exceptional human being. But in my entire stint, I didn’t experience that feeling. That is when I questioned myself— Is it time for a change?
I followed my heart and decided to quit and figure out what I intended to do next. I knew I will have to do all that ground work again, all that dirty work which every founder has to go through in the beginning because of lack of resources but then, I wanted to have that feeling in my work again. Kept it simple. Left to start something. The only reason why anyone would do this is because s/he has figured what stimulates an orgasm for them. Whenever I am in a dilemma, struggling to make a decision, I ask myself:
Is this orgasmic?
If the answer is yes, go ahead. DO IT!
If the answer is no, drop the idea. Push yourself until you get to that extraordinary feeling.
If the answer is “Not sure”, go back to “No”, drop the idea. Push yourself harder because you are closer to finding a definite answer.
I know it’s not that easy and might not be the best analogy to draw on how you can make decisions which really are important in your life with just a thought of relating it with an “Orgasm”. Rather what I intend to do here is suggest a way which might just help you get closer to the answer which you already know and have always wanted to pursue.
Inner self: I want to leave my job and do something else?
Push Inner self: Will this solve the current problem I am having?
Inner self: Yes, it should (Inner self, trying to fool you)
Push inner self: Will this turn around my life and does this feel orgasmic?
Inner self: I think so.
Push inner self: Be confident. If you say yes, you got to settle with this for quite some time then. It’s your life. Take a wise decision. Again, does this feel orgasmic?
Inner self: I am still not sure
Push inner self: If you take this decision and imagine the next day someone comes asks you to quit this job in return of $10 M. What would you do?
Inner self: Probably take it.
Push inner self: Then wait for a while until you are sure nothing can move your decision. That is when you are sure you want to take your next move.
After a while, you might see an improvement in quality decision making & you will start experiencing happiness with the decisions you are making.